Uncomfortable

Uncomfortable. That’s the feeling of the month. With so many new, nerve-racking things, I have felt uncomfortable pushing outside my comfort zone. I can’t stay in my content bubble, scared to reach out and grasp my future. 

My past few weeks in ISM have pushed me out of my shell, forcing me to do new, exciting, yet scary things. In what seemed like such a short time, I bought a blazer, practiced my handshake, and found myself heading to Symposium. It was no easy feat. My heart was racing thinking of the event weeks prior. However, in a turn of events, I found myself enjoying myself at the Symposium. Networking with professionals, meeting bright-minded students like myself, and talking to past ISM students, I found myself at ease. I was terrified of the interview process, thinking I would stumble on my words. However, I found myself answering questions with ease and happily conversing with my interviewer. After the symposium, I reflected on how much I had achieved in such a short amount of time in my ISM journey.

In the past month, I conducted two more research assessments, furthering my knowledge of anesthesia. The first research I conducted was on the benefits of practicing privately or with a hospital. To my surprise, many anesthesiologists prefer privately practicing, which I didn’t realize was so common. Through not being on call, creating their own hours, and working with a typically smaller group, anesthesiologists prefer the lifestyle. The second research assessment I conducted this month was regarding the usage of opioids in anesthesia. As we advance further with humans, the more controversial the usage of opioids in medicine has become. I was confident I would see opioids as a distasteful use in medicine, but to my surprise, I found myself understanding why anesthesiologists use opioids. With minimal use, opioids drastically create a better experience for the patient. 

The Business Symposium was an extreme challenge for me to push out of my comfort zone, but that was not the only thing that made this month uncomfortable. Already within 2 months of my ISM journey, we were on the search for mentors. Under strict orders from Mr. Pirtle to NOT mention the “m” word, I started reaching out to professionals for an interview. After reaching out to many professionals, I landed an interview with Dr. Junaid Ahmad. Ecstatic at first, my nerves started to shift in. I was terrified for our interview. However, it went extremely well. After having an extremely beneficial conversation with Dr. Ahmad, I felt confident in my ability to reach out and made a goal to reach out to many professionals over the span of the next week. Yes, this month was extremely uncomfortable for me, which was not necessarily a bad thing. It allowed me to see how much I could do that I would never have dreamed of doing before ISM. So yes, this month was uncomfortable yet inspiring.